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So...the last couple of months have been quite a journey. Most of my days have been long, full of questioning, and made me deeply unsatisfied when I lay my head down at night to survey what my life looks like now. It has truly been a battle that I find myself feeling as though I'm loosing. Rest assured that the next few posts will fill you in on most of the details.

Anyway, something I read the other day gave me tremendous hope about the process that I'm going through. Rick Diamond, in his book called "Wrestling with God," says that the struggle with the flesh is not what is evil. The struggle is assured. It is the attempt to deny or downplay the struggle that is evil. Jesus never condemned the individual people over there sins; he condemned the thing that was broken within them.

My acceptance of the lifelong battle does not mean that I can role over and be a passive sluggard. But, it does let me see that I am not bad. My heart is not evil. Yes, something inside me has gone terribly wrong, and I am a broken person. But, I have been given every tool I need to wage this lifelong battle and be victorious.

Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. -- Romans 7:24-25